ONE POUND OF ARKANSAS DIRT AND SURPRISES, READ DESCRIPTION

ONE POUND OF ARKANSAS DIRT AND SURPRISES, READ DESCRIPTION
Item# newitem144379940
$9.99
Availability: Usually ships the next business day

Product Description

ONE POUND OF ARKANSAS DIRT AND SURPRISES, READ DESCRIPTION
ATTENTION ALL ARKIES IN FOREIGN COUNTRIES AND THOSE LIVING IN OTHER STATES IN THIS GREAT COUNTRY WHILE TRAVELING THROUGH OR VACATIONING IN ARKANSAS NOTICED THIS TO BE THE NATURAL STATE, THE LAND OF OPPORTUNITY, "THE BEST OF ALL THE REST" AND THE PLACE YOU ALWAYS WANT TO RETURN. I AM OFFERING YOU A POUND OF OLE ARKANSAS DIRT!!!! I DECIDED TO ADD A LOCAL ANCIENT INDIAN BIRD ARROW, FRISNO TYPE. JUST LEAVE IT INSIDE FOR GOOD LUCK.

TO ALL ARKIES, FORMER ARKIES AND THOSE WISHING THEY COULD QUALIFY AS A ARKIE I HAVE A 4 INCH BY 3 INCH BY 1.50 INCH THICK BAG OF GENUINE, UNCHECKED ARKANSAS DIRT. ALL THE ARKIES, WHO HAVE LEFT THIS WONDERFUL STATE AND HEADED WEST, NORTH, SOUTH OR EAST TO MAKE THEIR FORTUNE AND THOSE WHO ARE STILL STRUGGLING PAY ATTENTION.

MANY YEARS AGO I LEFT ARKANSAS TO MAKE MY FORTUNE AND WITHIN A FEW MONTHS I WAS SO HOME SICK FOR ARKANSAS I COULD HARDLY STAND IT. I DIDN'T MAKE MY FORTUNE AS PLANNED; IF I COULD HAVE BOUGHT A BAG OF GOOD OLE ARKANSAS DIRT IT WOULD HAVE HELPED CONSIDERABLY, BUT IT WAS NOT AVAILABLE, SO I CRIED A LOT. NOW I AM BACK IN HEAVEN...OOPS, I MEAN ARKANSAS AND IF I CAN HELP MY FELLOW MAN WITH THEIR LONESOMENESS, I CERTAINLY WILL. EVEN THOSE OF YOU THAT DID MAKE YOUR FORTUNE AND ARE LIVING IN THE BIG CITIES, IN THE BIG HOMES, BEACH HOUSES, MOUNTAIN RETREATS AND HIGH RISE CONDO'S.... WOULDN'T YOU LIKE A BAG OF THIS ARKANSAS DIRT TO SET ON YOUR DESK AS A CONVERSATION PIECE AND A REMINDER OF WHERE FROM YOU CAME AND INCLUDING THOSE WHO HAVE WITNESSED THE WONDERS OF WHERE THEY HAVE BEEN? SOME OF YOU MAY THINK THIS IS A JOKE, BUT I ASSURE YOU THAT IT ISN'T. I MAY BRAG A TINY BIT BUT ARKANSAS IS NOT A JOKE. I EVEN MADE SURE THIS WAS NOT JUST ANY OLE DIRT. IT COMES FROM FORT CHAFFEE.

ELVIS PRESLEY WAS INDUCTED INTO THE ARMY AT FORT CHAFFEE AS A YOUNG MAN WILLING TO GIVE HIS VALUABLE TIME AND LOSS OF FUTURE FORTUNE TO SERVE HIS COUNTRY. HE LEFT A PART OF HIMSELF IN THE FOOT PRINTS LEFT BEHIND IN THE DIRT OF FORT CHAFFEE.

I WATCHED A REPORTER ON TV ASK BILL CLINTON IF HE WORE BOXER OR BRIEFS. I DON'T REMEMBER IF HE TOLD BECAUSE I SURE WASN'T INTERESTED MYSELF BUT IF YOU ARE THE BUYER AND REQUEST THE OTHER HALF OF THE COMPUTER GENERATED PICTURE YOU WILL KNOW FOR SURE THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION ABOUT THE "KING".

I OFFER THIS BAG OF ARKANSAS DIRT THAT IS SO GOOD THAT IF YOU DROPPED A SEED IN THIS DIRT IT WOULD SURELY GROW INTO A GIANT BEAN STALK. TO ME IT SMELLS LIKE THE FIRST ROSE OF SUMMER AND TASTE AS SWEET AS MY FIRST KISS. IF YOU ARE AMONG THE VERY FEW THAT DON'T LIKE ARKANSAS THIS DIRT SHOULD MAKE GOOD KITTY LITTER. THIS WONDERFUL BAG FULL OF ARKANSAS DIRT IS GUARANTEED AUTHENTIC. PLEASE BUY WITH CONFIDENCE.

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